Sunday, October 28, 2012


As I sat with my friends today at a Food Truck Rodeo in Durham this was brought home to me once more. I was watching my son between 2 beautiful little girls and their 4 loving mothers and I thought how much it sickens me that 2 of those mothers have little more right, under current NC law, to their children than I have to their children. These women are not even allowed to be classified as legal guardians. Sure, there are some legal protections in place, but they are not infallible. All it would take, in the case of the death or incapacitation of the birth mother, would be a nasty family member out to take their child away to do some serious damage.

I joke sometimes about how we need more straight friends, but we have plenty of straight friends, and plenty of gay friends, too, and the truth is, while it was delightful to my liberal heart to start with to be able to count among my nearest and dearest so many gay people, now they are just people, just families, just other parents doing the best for their kids that they can do.... just like Boomer and me. I forget how tenuous their situations are because honestly, we don't sit around and discuss our big "liberal gay agenda" when we're together. Generally we're discussing baby sleep issues, eating, milestones, diapers, where to eat next, the latest gossip (ok the truth is lesbians do gossip less than straight girls), or some other mundane stuff. They.... we.... don't want to take anything from the conservatives. We just want the same rights everyone who was born attracted to the opposite sex enjoys so freely.

But their situations are tenuous, and untenable. When I try to imagine being in their shoes it scares the hell out of me. I hope that no one we love is going to do anything to make things worse for them.

And if you plan to vote for Romney I hope my child never finds out that someone he knows, or worse, loves was on the wrong side of history. I'd like to say I want you to look him in the face and tell him that his friends and their families aren't as important as his and don't deserve the same rights and protections. I'd like to say that, but I think once he was old enough to understand, that would just break his heart. Because we're not raising him with hatred or discrimination. And I hope he never finds out that you were complicit in this barrage of homophobia coming from the right wing in this country right now. Just as it would break my heart to find out my grandparents or anyone I love voted for George Wallace.

No matter your reasons, if you vote for Romney you are complicit in massive civil rights violations perpetuated against people Josiah loves.